Grinchy Grinch
by Corad and Bijoux
Summary: This Christmas was going to be the best Christmas ever...until the Diplo appeared in the Elicoorian atmosphere and shredded the Season of Joy into miniscule pieces...
1. Chapter 1

**Bijoux: Um yeah...this is supposed to be a Christmas special...knowing my luck though, it won't get anywhere and I'll fail miserably...or I'll have a virtual heart attack halfway through updating meh...either way...I'm a 'newbie' to this section, so can you dudes be nice to me...I don't care if you flame, but Corad has an opinion too...not a pretty one either...so please enjoy my worthless heap of Christmas based trash...and yeah...this may contain spoilers too...can't remember...**

**I don't own Star Ocean...Christmas...or the Grinch...if I did this would all be a reality...a sad reality at that...**

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Grinchy Grinch…

**Chapter 1: Grinch Attack…?**

It was a happy day in the castle of Airyglyph…well…it was…up until…

"CHRISTMAS PARTY!" Duke Vox screamed as he ran through the castle halls, his arms in the air, as if it was a sign of some form of victory.

Albel rolled his eyes when the 'animal man' ran past, now making cheering sounds, which sounded suspiciously like a gorilla's mating call.

King Arzie gazed at the short walk from his throne to the stairs, his crazed uncle's roars and screams echoing all the way to his ears.

And as the commotion dwelled inside the castle of Airyglyph, Magistrate Lasselle lay haven inside the castle of Aquaria, trying to wrap up a present for the queen. He had no sooner failed miserably, and the half wrapped cow prodder, was thrown into a ceiling fan, which probably shouldn't have even been on the planet.

Never the less, this is how Elicoor II knew and remembered Christmas season.

Fayt Leingod was currently decorating the Diplo. Cliff had put up a plastic tree, and was covering it in tinsel and lights.

Fayt stepped away from his work to admire it; he had been decorating the hallways, covering them with tinsel and holly. There was even a mistle toe hanging from the doorframe of the control room, but the disgusted and evil look on Maria's face, threatened it to fall to pieces.

Fayt then made his way towards the small area outside the control room. He frowned when he saw Maria glaring at the mistle toe, which he had spent at least 15 minutes trying to make it stay on the metal frame, in a position it which the door would destroy it when it opened and closed.

The blue haired boy's frown however turned upside down, when he spotted Cliff, just finishing off the large Christmas tree.

"Alright…now I can go have a beer…" Cliff said in a victorious tone as he slumped away slowly. Maria rolled her eyes and she then continued to glare at the small thorny creation above, occasionally her glare would quickly dart towards Fayt, or the poorly decorated tree.

Cliff had soon reappeared, a bottle of beer in his hand.

"So…are we gonna invite the Elicoorians up here for Christmas…?" Cliff asked as he turned to look at Fayt.

Maria looked horrified in the background, before she started glaring at Cliff and Fayt, though they were blissfully unaware of the deadly look they were receiving.

"Well…I guess we could…if they really wanted to…" Fayt sighed as he turned back to the tree; the tinsel was beginning to fall off slightly, causing the tree to look like it had been decorated in a mad hurry, then left for possible death.

"Great…we can go get 'em now…" Cliff said as he disappeared into the control room, Maria glaring at his disappearing back.

"Hey Maria…" Sophia said as she approached the scowling women. Maria grunted a reply, before she continued to glare at Fayt now.

Maria glanced at Sophia, giving her a dirty look every time, in the hopes that she would just bum off. The looks however failed in the end, and Sophia remained standing next to Maria, being the biggest pain ever to the blue haired one.

"So…are you gonna get me a Christmas present…? I got you one…" Sophia said with one of her deadly 'I'm so cute' smiles.

Maria unenthusiastically shrugged, as she turned her head away from the annoying one, for a chance to roll her angry eyes.

"Oh come on, you don't wanna look like the grinch do you! That's Albel's job…" Sophia slightly laughed. She was replied with an awkward silence, and a gush of anger based heat, radiating from Maria's body.

"Okay…well…um…I guess I'll be going now…bye…" Sophia said before she went off to help Fayt fix the tree up a bit. Maria still stood in the same spot, even after Fayt and Sophia walked off, talking amongst themselves happily.

Maria rolled her eyes at their pitiful happiness and existence. It had been about 5 more minutes, before the real problem came…

Yes, Leiber had spotted his 'love' and was slowly edging his way towards her and the mistle toe. Maria raised an eyebrow as he took a sidestep along the metal wall behind him. He glanced around a bit, probably trying to look normal, before he took another step towards Maria. Maria glared at him; if he somewhat even tried to enter her 'bubble' then he'd meet an untimely death.

Maria scowled over at him, just as he was looking at her from the corner of his eye. He noticed this, and quickly glanced away, fidgeting with his clothes to try and look unsuspicious towards her.

She rolled her eyes as he took another large side step. Maria soon began to slightly panic, it appeared that Leiber was getting dangerously close, if only Lancar or Steeg were here…they'd get rid of him in an instant…but no, they weren't here, they were off doing their own business, unlike Lieber, who was obviously slacking off.

Maria snapped out of her thought when she noticed that Lieber was right next to her. She frowned as he did the whole yawning technique, before putting his right arm around her shoulders and pulling her towards him.

'Oh God no…Luther…can you delete him now…?' Maria thought to herself as Lieber began to edge his face closer to hers. Maria started to panic, she probably would have died, if Mirage hadn't come walking around the corner, she spotted Lieber and Maria and screamed as she dived for the scene, it would appear that everything was in slow mode now…

"Maria! NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Mirage screamed in slow mode as she dived across their front view, a laser gun in her hands.

(Everything in slow mode from now on…)

"NOOOO!" Maria screamed as she tilted her head away from Lieber, who looked ready to kiss her.

"Huh…?" Lieber said as he looked away from Maria to Mirage.

"DIIIIIIEEEEE!" Mirage screamed as she pointed the gun at Lieber for a split second, during her Matrix styled move, before she quickly aimed the gun up at the mistle toe, shooting a large laser beam at it, causing it to turn charcoaled and shriveled.

(End slow mode stage…)

The mistle toe crumpled into a small pile of ash on the floor between Lieber and Maria. As if on queue, Lieber casually walked away from the scene, whistling and generally acting as if nothing had happened.

Mirage climbed to her feet, dusting off her clothes.

"Thanks Mirage…now I'm glad you watch too many Matrix movies…" Maria sighed before she walked away.

"Don't mention it captain…" Mirage said as she saluted the disappearing Maria. She then tuned around and went inside the control room.

Once Mirage entered the control room, she took her usual place at the computer thingy she worked at. Cliff and Marietta were having an argument about inviting people away from their own families, even before Christmas.

It would appear that they had stopped above Elicoor II, but Marietta disagreed with forcing people to come celebrate Christmas day a week early, especially when they already had family on their own planet to enjoy it with.

"I don't care if Santa Clause himself told me to shove it! Because I'm having Christmas with my friends! Whether you like it or not!" Cliff boomed from the captain's chair.

"Yes Cliff…" Marietta sighed as she moved the ship closer to the planet, so that Cliff could go get his 'friends'.

"Alright, I'll take Fayt and go get them…you wait around here…I don't wanna be stuck down there for Christmas.

And so it was settled, no further arguments, Cliff had apparently won the battle, between common sense and pure stupidity.

It took about 20 minutes of slouching aimlessly around the Diplo, before Cliff returned, with Nel, Claire, Adray, Roger, Mr and Mrs. Roger's parents, for some strange reason Duke Vox, and lastly a large kicking, brown sack, which looked as though it contained Albel the Wicked.

"Un-sack me maggot!" the sack screamed. Maria, who was just walking by, gazed down at the sack with an arched eyebrow. This Christmas was going to be a _blast_…(shows Diplo exploding in mid flight)…

"Now, Fayt, you go get some rooms ready…Maria…do we possibly have a cage…?" Cliff sighed as he turned towards Maria; Fayt was disappearing in the background, towards the living area of the ship.

The other Elicoorians followed after Fayt, to get their rooms.

Maria raised an eyebrow at Cliff.

"Why do you want a cage…?" Maria asked.

"Well…Albel wouldn't cooperate…and old man Woltar kept complaining on the way here that he already had plans for Christmas day…so…I had to catch them…" Cliff explained as he looked down at the sack.

"Let us go you lummox!" Woltar's voice groaned out of the sack.

"You heard him fool…now let us go…" Albel hissed right after.

Cliff rolled his eyes.

"I. TOLD. YOU. NO. ONE'S. GOIN'. HOME. UNTIL. BOXING. DAY!" Cliff screamed as he threw numerous punches into the bag.

Moans of pain seeped through the thick material before Cliff dragged it away, causing more groans of protest and pain.

Maria was left to think to herself as Cliff walked away, dragging the sack quickly towards another room.

"Um…Mr. Klausion sir…?" Woltar mumbled after a while of dragging, "I don't want to be a drag or anything…but I think I'm getting a slight case of tile burn…"

"Shut up you old coot…" Albel hissed back, before signs of physical, verbal **_AND_** mental bickering began to show on the outside of the sack.

"Now come on guys…if you just promise to cooperate, I can let you out of this sack, and you can go explore on your own free will…" Cliff sighed as he came to a halt, and then turned around to face the fiercely moving sack.

"I'll cooperate…" Woltar said as his hand began waving it the air, causing the sack to mould around it, the new lack of space in the sack made it possible to the outline of his baldhead.

"Alright then…" Cliff simply said as he bent down to untie the small thread closing up the sack. It was soon undone and Cliff helped Woltar out of the sack, all the time making sure that Albel didn't escape.

"Now, you go have fun…" Cliff said as he retied the sack, waving at Woltar as he began to walk away.

After about another 5 minutes of traveling that seemed rather pointless, Cliff decided he should try and make conversation with Albel, in the hopes that he too, would at least try and cooperate.

"So Albel…you enjoy Christmas…Don't tell me you're like the Grinch of Elicoor or something…?" Cliff chuckled. There was no reply.

"Okay…so…you gonna get anyone a present…? If you get me one, I'll get you one…" Cliff tried again, only to be somewhat ignored.

"Albel…? You there buddy…?" Cliff sighed as he looked over his shoulder at the sack. There was no answer, so Cliff came to a halt. He opened to sack and found no Albel, only a fairly scared looking, beaten and tied up Count Woltar.

"Hey what the…?" Cliff mumbled as he scratched his head, an angry look was on his face, as he eyed the scrunched up sock in Woltar's mouth.

Cliff removed the sock, realizing it to be one of his.

"It was Albel…when you let me go…he kinda just…appeared from this other corridor…he beat me up, tied me up, somehow stole that sock from your very foot, then shoved me back in the sack for some reason…he said something about now he could finally be free again or something…" Woltar explained as Cliff untied the ropes around Woltar's wrist and ankles.

"So…he somehow escaped…caught you…put you in the sack…and said he was finally free, when technically…but wait a sec! The sac never felt lighter, so how could he have…ah forget it…" Cliff tried to figure out the logical explanation but failed miserably, soon walking away from the horrid scene. Woltar soon climbed out of the sack completely and headed for the sick bay, to heal his bruises.

Meanwhile Albel was exploring the ship, scowling at the decorations as he went along. To tell you the truth, the decorations alone made Albel want to hurl, let alone the people who had put them up.

That was when he saw it…yes…IT…the poorly made Christmas tree, that Cliff had previously put up and had attempted to decorate, NOTE: ATTEMPTED.

"Stupid tree…" Albel muttered to himself as he walked up to the tree, glaring at it all the way. He soon became too spiteful towards the tree, and it wasn't long before he appeared running through the many hallways of the Diplo, the tree under his gauntleted arm, as he approached the rubbish eject system.

"MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Albel cackled as he forced the large mass of red, green, sliver and gold into the large rubbish tube, "Die freak! DIE!" Albel hissed as he forced the entire tree in, soon laughing like a loon again, before he pressed the eject button.

He leapt to the closest window, and watched as the tree flew out into space, soon colliding forcefully into another ship that was flying beside the Diplo. Albel laughed at the sight of the tree, deeply indented into the metal of the Federation ship.

He then walked away, still laughing at the same time as admiring his work.

But although this was all fun for Albel, it would soon turn to war for the Diplo…because the federation ship contained…

"Commander Commodore! That other ship just fired at us!" a federation soldier screamed as he ran up to Commodore Whitcomb, who was gazing out the window of his federation ship.

Anger soon enclosed the man's face.

"Well then what are you waiting for! Fire something back you fools!" Commodore screamed at the soldier.

"Y-y-yes sir!" the soldier said as he saluted Commodore, before running down the hallway. Commodore felt a tinge of happiness when he heard the sound of a firing cannon.

"Ahh, I love that sound…now, time to inspect my precious tree…" Commodore sighed as he walked away, towards his meeting room, where his carefully decorated Christmas tree lay.

But Commodore would not come to a halt at his tree, no, he came to a halt at what was left of his tree. A few decorations, and a short reel of red tinsel lay around where the tree had been.

"WHAT! What has happened to my tree…!" Commodore screamed as he ran out of the meeting room. He looked over at the same soldier he had met before.

"Well…you told us to fire back…so…" the soldier replied nervously.

"Yes I told you to fire back…so you fired back a missile…" Commodore said slowly, allowing time for the information to sink into the man's head.

"Oh…but we…we thought that…uh oh…" the soldier said as he nervously eyed his commander.

Commodore looked out the window, just in time to see his precious tree float past. He quickly darted to the window and screamed when he noticed that in reality it was his tree…

"NOOOO!" Commodore screamed as he clawed at the window helplessly, "It was so young and blissful! AWWWW!" Commodore choked out some sobs as he fell to his knees, tears cascading down his face and splashed on the floor below.

"Um…sir…will you be all right…?" the soldier asked as he looked down at Commodore with a note of sympathy on his face.

"Why…? WHY!" Commodore screamed as he got back on his feet and angrily advanced on the soldier.

"Well, they fired a tree at us…see…?" Commodore looked to where the man was pointing and saw the outline of a tree on the inside of one of the ships walls. The hallway fell silent as Commodore processed the information in his head.

"But…_why_ would they do _that_…" Commodore asked as he frowned towards the soldier. The soldier shrugged, not really know any possible answer for the question.

"Maybe it was just an accident…" Commodore suggest to himself before he looked out the window again to see two trees floating around now. He collapsed on the ground again, screaming and crying in horror.

"I spent 3 hours making her perfect!" the commander screamed as his soldier came and began to comfort him.

Meanwhile on the Diplo…

"NOOO! I spent 3 hours trying to decorate that thing!" Cliff screamed as he collapsed on his knees, he wasn't crying or making a very big deal about the fact that his tree had just flown past the window, but it still got to him that it was ruined just like that.

"Who would do such a thing…?" Fayt asked as he frowned out the window, then towards Cliff who was grimacing towards the floor.

"I dun-know man…I just don't know…" Cliff sighed as he clenched his fists angrily, and shook his head.

He then angrily climbed to his feet and headed into the control room. There was a flashing red light in this room, and everyone was talking restlessly fast.

"Captain…I think they maybe planning on firing again…" Marietta said with panic in her tone as she urgently typed into the computer in front of her.

"Marietta just calm down…they fired a tree at us! A TREE! And they only did it because we fired a tree at them first…somebody put the tree in the rubbish eject system, that's all…" Maria sighed as she rolled her eyes, and crossed her arms across her chest.

Albel slowly entered the room, while Marietta began to calm down.

"What are you fools trying to do…? Getting us into a fight like that…? How inconsiderate of you, maggots…" Albel hissed as he glared at Maria. Maria glared back, but Albel was now the least of her problems, because somewhere…out in the galaxy…there was a giant, flying mower…designed to be a space ship…and the captain of that space ship was…

"Um…Miss. Peppita sir…" Gonnella mumbled as he doddered up to his 'captain'.

"What is it Gonnella…?" Peppita asked in a sweet tone from the Captains seat of her newly received, mower based, space ship.

"Well…um…me and Ursus were just minding our own business when we spotted the Diplo, they've got all the guys on there, and they haven't even tried to invite you…" Gonnella explained as he looked down at Peppita.

"WHAT!" Peppita roared angrily, "Okay, that's it…now it's war…"

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**(Zooms out to show Duke Vox reading the story, a bucket of popcorn is in his hands)  
Vox: What the hell was that!  
Bijoux: Um...the first chapter of my Christmas story...  
Vox: Prrrrp...more like a friendship speech in the middle of a battlefield!  
Bijoux: What's wrong with that...?  
Vox: Duh, it's completly pointless, and in the end goes nowhere...  
Bijoux: Okay...please review...maybe I'll acutally get out of my couch based butt groove and update...meh...**


	2. Pursued by Idiots

**Bijoux: Thanks for all the reviews dudes...it made me happy... I'll have a happy Christmas now...yay...Um, I also forget to mention a few things in the last chapter too...firstly, I got the tree being shot out the thing towards the other thing from the Simpsons...thanks to the dude who reminded me of that...secondly, my style of humour is like...making people seem dummer than they really are or something...like making them OOC...sorry if I offend anyone doing that...meh...**

**I don't own Star Ocean, Christmas...the Grinch...in fact the only thing I own...is my life...no wait...I sold that over E Bay...meh...please enjoy... **

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Chapter 2: Pursued by Idiots…**

"Hey Fayt…how's it goin…?" Duke Vox asked as he slumped towards the breakfast table, which currently only seated Fayt, a very tired looking Fayt at that.

"Um…good…I guess…" Fayt said as he uneasily eyed the large man before him. Was this not the man who had previously tried to kill him? And not only him, but also his friends, and even the puppy he got for king Arzie…

"So…Christmas…yeah…" Vox said as he nodded his head, he sat down next to Fayt at the large table, and stirred his bowl of cereal around a bit.

"Yeah…" Fayt nodded, this was becoming quite awkward…

"So…you ah…you getting _everyone _a present…?" Vox asked as he looked at Fayt hopefully.

"Well…I guess so…wouldn't want anyone to feel left out…" Fayt replied as he kept his gaze down to his toast.

"That's ah…that's very generous of you Fayt…" Vox happily replied.

"Um…yeah I guess it is…" Fayt uneasily replied, nodding his head a bit as he eyed his half eaten, probably cold breakfast.

"Ah, but that's what I _love_ about you Fayt, always so caring, and sharing…ah, it brings joy to see someone so loving towards others…" Vox sighed as he gazed in front of him dreamily.

"Um…thanks…I suppose…" Fayt replied, still wondering why Vox was acting as if he never tried to kill him.

"Oh no Fayt, _I thank you_, for it is people like you, that make the galaxy a better place…and to think, you're nice all the time, not just during the Christmas season…I envy you…I envy your generosity so bad…you're so caring---

(Shows Peppita sitting at her Captains seat, an angry look on her face)

"I hate you FAYT! You're so heartless---"

(Diplo)

"You're so loving…"

(Peppita's ship- um…let's just call it the Sandal Churner…coz it is a giant mower after all…and mower's run over shoes and destroy them easily so…meh…)

"So intolerable…"

(Diplo)

"So friendly…"

(Sandal Churner)

"SO BITCHY!"

(Diplo)

"So warm…"

(S.S Sandal Churner)

"So cold…"

(Diplo)

"Why…you almost remind me of me when I was a little girl…(notices Fayt eye him suspiciously)…um…I mean boy…(clears throat)…"

(Sandal Churner)

"Why, you so remind me of Duke Vox when he was a little boy…"

(Diplo)

"Wow…um…Mr. Vox…I never…um…knew you felt that way…about me…um…thanks…I guess…but still…I um…I can be cruel when I want to be…" Fayt said as he looked at Vox with a confused frown.

"Oh no! You're never cruel boy, you never leave anyone important out of anything!" Vox chuckled as he slammed a hand into Fayt's back, causing him to choke on his toast, and almost fly head first out of his seat.

"Oh…um…okay…if you say so…" Fayt slightly chuckled as he quickly devoured the rest of his toast, running away with his plate afterwards. He didn't want to imagine what would happen if Vox started to think they were friends or something…

Fayt had exited the dining room, and was walking towards the control room, to find out where they would stop to do some Christmas shopping; when Cliff came out of nowhere and blocked his pass.

"Uh…Cliff…you alright…? Is something wrong?" Fayt asked with a puzzled, and at the same time, concerned tone.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine, it's just that, that Vox guy is targeting people man…giving em these speeches on how good they are, so that he'll get a present from them…" Cliff explained as he scowled in numerous directions.

That was when it hit Fayt, like how the milkman had hit Cliff's cat…he had been targeted…

"Oh man…" Fayt sighed as he slammed his hand into his forehead, and shook his head slowly.

"What is it…? You been a target…?" Cliff asked as he looked down at his blued haired friend.

Fayt nodded, recollecting his thoughts of Vox's, 'you're so caring' speech…

"Oh…well…don't let it get to you man…Vox is apparently good at manipulating people…but not me…" Cliff sighed as he patted Fayt on the back, "Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta go write a list of what I'm gonna get people…any ideas of what I should get Vox…? He called me handsomely strong this morning, so I just gotta get him a present for his compliments…" Cliff said, not waiting for an answer as he strolled away towards his room.

Fayt rolled his eyes, partly glaring at Cliff, as he disappeared around a corner. The list was a good idea though, so Fayt decided he should write one too. He turned on his heel and headed for his room.

Once he reached it, he started on the list.

"Now, I can't let Vox manipulate me into getting him a present…better write down the people I'm defiantly gonna get something for…" Fayt sighed to himself as he seated himself on his bed, a pen and note pad in his hands. And so, the people were written down…followed by the things he would give them.

Sophia- I dun know…maybe a bear or something…? 

_Cliff- ?_

_Maria- Anger management classes, about other people's _

_happiness! _

_Mirage- Matrix movie pack_

_Roger- Maybe some form of 'learn how to grow' kit…?_

_Albel- I dun know…probably have to kill someone…_

_Adray- Bumper car_

_Nel- ? _

_Clair-?_

_Woltar- Electric wheel chair_

Vox- Play Station 2, with games… 

Fayt had soon got most of his presents planned, there were just a few people left, which he would probably have to ask around to get an idea of what to get them. So off he set.

Meanwhile Albel and Vox were walking around the Diplo aimlessly…well…Albel had no aim…but I think we all know that _Vox_ did…

"So…Albel…buddy ole pal…you ah…you gonna get me a Chrissie prezzy?" Vox asked Albel in a happy tone, "Coz I got you one…it's the best present EVA!" Vox made hand movements indicating something big.

"Oh…well…I never really considered that one…" Albel muttered back as he rolled his eyes at Vox, though the larger man didn't seem to notice.

"Well…I was kinda hoping you would…ya know…so that…aww…never mind…your great-full-ness, power-ness doesn't need me moping all over it, your holiness…" Albel's eyebrow arched at these words, was Vox actually complimenting him? Albel stopped dead in his tracks and watched as Vox went a little ahead of him.

"What…?" Vox asked as he turned around, a pout on his face as he looked at Albel.

Albel just stood there, dumbstruck as he eyed the man before him.

"So…you aren't getting a low life like me a present are you…?" Vox asked as he pretended to wipe a tear out of his eye, he made a sniveling sound as he turned around again, "Oh but don't worry my God, I won't take it out on you…for you will instantly crush me the moment I try to force you into wasting your precious funds on me…a lowly maggot filled worm fool…I guess I'll see you later your holiness…" Vox whimpered as he began to slump away, he coughed rather harshly as he left, whether it was to take away everything he had said about Albel, or to just get him to feel more sorry for him was unknown, but either way, it sounded rather fake…

And as Vox continued on his innocence, pursuing spree, some one not so innocent was advancing on the Diplo, an angry look on her face, and sweat drops on the ones around her, she could _only_ be…_my_ mother (sweat drops appear on those around me)…um…I mean…she could _only_ be…Peppita Rossetti…

Everything happened in a blur for our Star Ocean heroes…

"Um…captain…there's another ship advancing on us…I think they want war…" Mirage nervously said to Maria, who was seated at the captain's seat of the control room of the Diplo.

"What makes you think they want war, Margarine…?" Adray's voice came as if out of nowhere behind Maria somewhere. Maria's eyes turned to humiliated slits, as did (who was also in the room at the time) Clair's.

"Father…her name is Mirage…_not_ Margarine…" Clair sighed irritably as she rolled her eyes before frowning at her innocent looking father.

"Oh…sorry about that one…" Adray muttered as he uncomfortably fidgeted with his skirt.

"That's okay Adray…now, Mirage, why do you think they want war…?" Maria asked only to be met with no reply, "Um…Mirage…are you still there…?"

Still silence…

"Marietta…do you know why…? Marietta…?" Maria asked again, only to hear the sound of no ones voice.

"Cliff…? Steeg…?"

No reply…

"Claire…?" there was no reply from this one either.

"…Adray…" Maria quietly, and probably unwillingly muttered, luckily there was no reply to this name either.

Maria sighed angrily, before she got off her seat, and went over to Mirage's screen. And there the blue haired captain saw it…yes…the mower of death…the mower of lies…the mower of rejection…the mower of Sandal Churner…

"What the…?" Maria asked herself as she zoomed in on the image of the space ship. Inside she saw Peppita, sitting in what appeared to be the captain's seat on the ship, she was laughing madly…something that Albel enjoyed…and as the massive turret emerged from the front of the mower…it was decided…yes…decided…

It was then decided…there was really some one out there as Grinchier as Albel 'The Wicked' Nox…though no one would have the courage to break the news to the fluffy haired companion…

"Oh no…" Maria gasped as a large rocket came shooting out of the 'Sandal Churner', the rocket soon came into contact with the Diplo's outer shell, and screams erupted throughout the spacecraft.

A red light began flashing as the Diplo rapidly and violently shook from the newer torpedoes it was receiving.

"FAYT!" Maria called into the announcing radio, "Come in Fayt! I need you on the bridge!"

Fayt soon came in rushing into the bridge. He was panting and looked like he had just run across a battlefield of fat men and women, fighting over the last Big Mac ever being made…

"What is it!" Fayt yelled as he ran over to Maria, who was still looking down at the screen before her.

"Look…" Maria simply said as she pointed to the screen, she zoomed in again, and Fayt got a clear view of Peppita, laughing her tanned head off.

"What…? Why is she doing this!" Fayt spat, his face showing a great deal of shock.

"I'm not sure…do you think it has anything to do with the fact that she's on that ship and not this one…?" Maria asked as she sternly looked from Fayt to the screen.

"Well…now that you mention it…that would seem pretty right…" Fayt said as he frowned towards the action in front of him.

"Guys! We gotta get outta here fast!" Cliff yelled as he ran into the room, leaping the distance from the captain's chair to his chair.

The room went from pretty quiet (apart from the danger siren in the background), to fairly loud, as all the drivers of the Diplo entered the room, in a slow walk, all muttering amongst themselves, as they took their usual seats on the bridge.

"Where were you guys…?" Maria asked as she looked around the room, an eyebrow raised.

"Oh…we were at the doughnut stand…" Steeg replied from his seat.

"Doughnut stand…?" Maria said in a part confused, part unenthusiastic tone as she kept her eyebrow raised higher up on her forehead than the other.

"Yeah…Foxy Voxy's got a doughnut stand out there…" Adray replied, as he mysteriously appeared next to Maria and Fayt.

"Uh…umm…_Foxy Voxy_…?" Fayt asked as he looked at Adray as if he was an idiot (like he so was).

"Yeah…that's his new name to me…duh…" Adray said in a snobby, full of self-tone as he did a snob like hand flick.

"Okay…" Fayt replied as he managed to turn away from the strange man next to him.

"You know he's just being nice so that you'll get him a present for Christmas…" Nel spat as she too appeared out of nowhere next to Fayt.

"NA-AH!" Adray yelped as he turned away from Nel, his arms crossed and his eyes closed in a defensive manner, "Foxy Voxy would never do that to me…I'll have you know he called me _sexy_…"

Everyone's jaw dropped at the leader of the Dragon Brigade's desperation for presents.

"Okay…moving on…" Maria said as she turned away from Adray, who still had his defensive pose on, "You guys get us out of here okay…? She may wanna kill us, but I don't think it's wise to fight back…" Maria sighed as she moved away from Mirage's seat and back to her own, so that Mirage could sit down again.

"Roger!" Mirage replied as she sat down and began fiddling around with the controls in front of her.

In almost no time at all the Diplo was zooming away from Peppita and her mad plans for 'Fayt Domination'. They managed to partly escape the small one, but she still remained on their tail, glaring all the way there.

"Hey…what's goin on in here guys…?" Roger asked as he entered the room, closely followed by Sophia and Count Woltar.

"We're being attacked by Peppita…" Fayt sighed as he approached the small one, the annoying one (in my opinion) and the old one.

"Really Fayt…?" Sophia asked, a wave of worry came across her as she looked her blue haired friend.

"Yeah…but don't worry…we've managed to escape her…for now…" Cliff yelled from across the room. Cheers erupted when everyone else realized that Peppita had indeed gone astray from her kill plans.

"Well that's a relief…um Fayt…where's Albel…?" Fayt became puzzled at Sophia's sudden question. He really didn't now where the troublesome one was…oh no…that couldn't mean good…

"AND. DON'T. EVER. TRY. AND. SWEET. TALK. ME. AGAIN. YOU. BLUNDERING. FOOL!" came the screams from the broom closest somewhere on the Diplo.

"But lord Albel…you lordliness…" Vox whimpered from inside the small room, before more sounds of beatings erupted from the small cracks, and thin metal of the door.

"BAH! I don't want to hear it maggot!" Albel spat, before one last sound of a gauntlet to face sounded out of the room, and Albel exited hastily, wanting to avoid any 'difficult' questions if someone found him in the closest, beating up Duke Vox, who was wearing a frilly pink Apron.

'Humph…stupid fool…' Albel thought to himself as he continued along the metal, shining corridor.

But that was when a thought hit him…something was sensing inside him…it told him that…that…Maria and Fayt looked like they were related! (Albel turns to me)

"Um…fool…that's not what…hits me…" Albel spat.

Oh…um…sorry my…ever so favorite character…(coughs uncomfortably…)…oh well at least I'm a fool…and not a worm or maggot…can I be upgraded to wench…?

"No…"

Aww…shoot…

To be continued…?

* * *

**Bijoux: So...ah...what did you think of my new edition to the story...?****  
Peppita: IT STINKS!  
Bijoux: (Looks accross to see red mower slowly comming closer) ARRRRGGGGGGGGGHH! (Get chased away by Peppita) ALBEL! HEEEEEEEEEEELP!  
Albel: Please review...IT will cry if you don't...then I'll have to kill her...(laughs evilly)...  
Adray: (Appears out of nowhere next to Albel) Is it just me...or is Magistrate Lasselle and Queen Romeria...like...totally goin out...? (Everyone sweatdrops)...  
**


	3. The Worse Gets Worserer

**Bijoux: Um...yeah...this chapter may be a bit longer than the previous one, and may drift away from the Christmas theme slightly...either way...the next chapter will be Christmas day so...yeah...it'll be full of Christmas craze...meh...knowing my luck I won't even finish the last chapter before Christmas...I'm so slow at these things and all..meh...if not this Christmas, expect this too be finished by next Christmas...if not the one after...**

** I don't own Star Ocean, Christmas, the Grinch...um...that minni cockroach thing which is one the ceiling above me right now...come closer and I'll feed you to my dog...stupid bug...oh, and I also don't own the ice cream in the freezer right now...IT OWNS MEEEEEEEEEE!...please enjoy...sorry for any/all character bashing...  
**

**

* * *

Chapter 3: The Worse Get's Worserer**

Nel had soon gotten sick of watching everyone cheer over the 'defeat' of Peppita, or as Cliff was calling her 'Pepperoni'.

"DIE PEPPERONI! DIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!" Cliff's roars were heard followed by merciless cheers from other crew members, as Nel exited the bridge, simultaneously rolling her eyes as she went along.

Nonetheless, Nel was happy that 'Pepperoni' had been 'defeated' for the time being. The only problem Nel had was, how repetitive these people could be at times. Cliff had been cheering the same "Die Pepperoni! DIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEE!" for the past 10 minutes, and everyone still cheered and laughed like it was new news…

But no…it was no new news to Nel, and she had no need to remember old news…well…not as long as it was that memory of how Albel gave Magistrate Lasselle that flag pole wedgie last 'New Year' party.

The memory still made her laugh, and in times of great, harsh struggle, it would make everything okay again.

"Ah, if it isn't the Aquarian scum, Zelpher…" a voice hissed closely behind Nel. Nel rolled her eyes, taking a defensive stance, she recognized the voice to be Albel's.

"Nox…" Nel nodded as if to greet him. There was an awkward silence in which Nel turned to face Albel. Albel had bored expression on his face, and looked like this was one of those conversations where you'll talk, but no one would reply, then you realize your friends have ditched you again…(begins to cry)…Why ZOE! WHHHHHYYYYYYY!

Um…anyways…yeah…on with the story…(coughs uncomfortably)…

"So…what brings you to my death hallway…? Maggot…?" Albel scowled at Nel, who raised an eyebrow at the enemy before her.

"Death hallway…? Gee that's creative…though it's even more pathetic than that time that the Queen was having nightmares…

(Flash back)

Lasselle had awoken one morning to find numerous horrid things…

The Queen was sprawled all over his bed, (probably due to having another nightmare in her sleep, in which a giant Big Mac would chase her across the land, before it squashed her, and it kept going down Mt. Barr for some reason…)

She was right on top of him

He couldn't escape

He needed the bathroom

The Queen was snoring like some kind of piggish creature, right in his ear

She appeared to be drooling down his neck

The punk kids from down the road had egged his bedroom window again…

And that was all for now…

"Um…your majesty…?" the Magistrate whimpered as he shuffled a bit underneath the sleeping royal. The sound of his voice only somehow aggravated the Queen in her sleep, and she soon began thrashing about, groaning and hissing in her now enraged, sleep.

"You're majesty!" Lasselle whimpered louder, his voice was cracking slightly, probably indicating his fear right now. This only enraged the Queen further…and Lasselle would now need 'trauma getting over' classes during his free time…the poor man…(coughs)…

(End flash back)

"And another thing…since when was this YOUR hallway!" Nel finished screaming at Albel. He had a look of shock on his face. Nel had never seen him this way…then again…she had never been this angry…meh…either way…

"What the…?" Albel said as he frowned at Nel slightly. Nel looked around the grey hallway nervously, an awkward silence had begun and it was no sooner, time for Nel to make a getaway…

"Um…I'm going…now…" Nel coughed slightly as she maneuvered away from the scene of the crime before her.

Albel was left speechless, and confused as the red haired one disappeared. Her tantrums seemed to be worse than anyone else's he had ever known…and he had worked with Shelby the heavy handed at some stage…that man was like…a tape recorder…stuck on the same line, sticky taped to a half destroyed, and out of place beach ball.

"Attention all passengers, please report to the bridge, immediately. I repeat, all passengers-" Maria's voice echoed somewhere above Albel's shocked looking face. He stood in the same spot for a while before he started his way towards the bridge, a scowl on his face.

"What is it you fools!" Albel spat as he thrust himself through the doors of the bridge. Everyone who had arrived looked at Albel as if he had an extra head, which would probably be mistaken for his twin sister, scowling just as hard as he was.

"As I was saying…before I was rudely interrupted…" Maria finally spoke as she scowled slightly towards a bored looking Albel, "Cliff has come up with this crazy idea…that we should 'get together' with each other…for Christmas or something like that…" Maria sighed as she rolled her eyes.

Cliff currently wasn't in the room, which made everyone breathe a sigh of relief. They would be safe from his plotting for at least a couple more hours.

"Maybe we'll be lucky and he'll die halfway through the attempt or something…" Roger said as he looked at the steel floor hopefully.

Everyone else was thinking the same thing, but Cliff wouldn't be stopped…he couldn't be stopped…he had already started his plans, from his bedroom on the Diplo…and oh man…it was horrible…

"Now…I think…yes…Roger…and Peppita…" Cliff said as he scribbled some notes down onto a sheet of paper.

(Shows Peppita sitting on the Sandal Churner)

"I don't why…but I'm gonna kill Cliff first when we catch the Diplo…" Peppita stated with a confused face expression.

"You do that milord!" Picolotto said as he bowed on his knees in front Peppita, praising her like a god.

(Back on Diplo in Cliff's room)

"Now…let's see…the last people left would be…Fayt…Sophia…Nel…and Albel…that could only equal one thing…Magistrate Lasselle times Queen Romeria…" a look of surprise played across Cliff's face, before a large green beam came crashing through the roof of the Aquarian castle.

The Queen didn't even seem to notice at all, that she was being slowly pulled towards a newly made hole in her Audience Chamber. Lasselle watched in horror as she floated away from her throne, still in a seated position. She had bored face expression, not even flinching when Lasselle jumped up to grab her ankles.

His attempt at saving the Queen failed and he was soon being levitated upwards too, his arms wrapped tightly around Romeria's ankles, as he looked at the distant floor.

Cliff waited in anticipation at the transport room. He cackled evilly when the large cylinder lighted up, and the Queen appeared before his eyes, Lasselle sprawled on the floor beneath her, his face buried into the floor as his arms continued to somewhat, 'hug' the Queens ankles.

Fayt burst into the room, at the sound of Cliff's evil laugh. He stared in horror at the sight of the Queen, standing there with her trademark boredom face. His face turned to even more horror when he spotted Lasselle lying on the floor, probably crying…

"CLIFF! WHY! WHY DID YOU DO THIS!" Fayt yelled as he stormed right up to his friend.

"I duno…more excitement on the Diplo…?" Cliff shrugged as he stared at Fayt pout fully.

Fayt rolled his eyes. He looked once again at the two, still in the same spot and positions. He sighed before walking up to them.

"Um…I'm sorry about this your majesty…here…come with me and I'll go get you a room…" Fayt said as he walked over to the door, waiting for it to open, while the Queen started to follow. She didn't get very far however, probably due to the fact that she could barley move her legs with Lasselle still hugging them. He was dragged across the floor, but still did not let go.

Romeria angrily growled as she kicked towards the nearby wall, Lasselle was repeatedly slammed into the wall, causing him to groan and flinch at the pain.

"LET GO!" Romeria gave one loud shout before she slammed her foot towards the wall with such force, that Lasselle fell temporally unconscious, his arms slid down to her feet where they lay loosely on her shoes.

She stepped out of his annoying arms and continued on her journey after Fayt.

Lasselle came back to 'life' a bit after the queen had left with Fayt. Cliff was kneeling right in front of Lasselle, and the sight seen wasn't a very pretty one, right after waking up.

"You alright man…?" Cliff asked as he pulled Lasselle to his scrawny feet.

"I'll be fine…" Lasselle stated as he dusted his robes off and looked at Cliff expectantly.

"Hey man…don't worry about her…she'll come 'round…" Cliff said as he wrapped one of his chunky arms around Lassalle's small shoulders, forcing him towards his chest.

"What…?" Lasselle asked as he frowned at Cliff.

"Ya know…" Cliff said as he took a step away from the magistrate, eying him suspiciously.

"No…know what…?" Lasselle asked as he raised an eyebrow at the large member of the Klausion group.

"Ya know…how you…and then she…ya know…?" Cliff whispered, he was still eyeing Lasselle like he was a murderer or something…well…it couldn't be proved that he wasn't or anything…Dion did disappear in the castle and all… (Corad: Um…I think--) SILENCE!

"Look…_Clifford_…I don't know what the hell you think you're talking about…but I don't understand one bit of what you're saying…" Lasselle spat angrily at the larger man.

Cliff looked slightly disturbed at these words, let alone his name…

"But dude…how can it be so obvious to everyone else…but it's not even obvious to you…?" Cliff whispered in a confused tone.

"What…? That you're an idiot…?" Lasselle spat at Cliff, as he turned away from him slightly. Lasselle now held a defensive pose, with a scowl on his face, his arms tightly crossed over his small chest, as his back faced his opponent.

"No!" Cliff said as if it wasn't even insult, but a stupid theory to a stupid question. Cliff looked around the half empty room, to make sure that there were eavesdroppers, he found none, and decided to finally continue on with his assumption of stupidity.

"You…like…the Queen…" Lassalle's face turned into a whirling pit of shock and horror at these words. The world seemed to crumble around him, as his anger gauge increased way over the limit.

"WHAT!" Lasselle screamed as he abruptly turned around the glare at Cliff angrily.

"Hey calm down man…" Cliff said as he put up his palms for a defense, "It's okay…I have a plan on how to pair you two up…alright…my coupling never fails…"

(That 'I Believe in Miracles' song comes on as screen becomes host to snapshots of couplings Cliff has created, everyone is handcuffed to their partners. Couples include:

Adray and Clair

Nel and Clair

Mirage and Steeg

Shelby and Clair

Albel and Roger

Albel and Fayt

Sophia and Leiber

Clair and Clair 2

Maria and Gonnella

Ursus and Albel

Nel and Albel

Fayt and Cliff

Marietta and Shelby

Albel and Vox (and Shelby)

Shelby and Cliff

Cliff and the McDonald's sign)

"But I don't like her! Well…not like that anyway…" Lasselle screamed at Cliff.

"Look man, I know this is embarrassing for you…seeing as though your secret has gotten out…but I assure you, you'll feel much more _less_ guiltier when you're finally waiting at the end of the wedding isle, while she comes down it looking at you…(Cliff snakes an arm around Lassalle's shoulders again and leans in closer) Aww, imagine how beautiful Adray would look in a wedding dress…(Cliff looks down to see a disgusted face expression from Lasselle) uh…I mean Romeria…yeah…Romeria…heheh…heh…um…yeah…" Cliff said as Lasselle scowled up at him. Cliff gave a nervous glance, as he decided to move away from the aggravated Magistrate.

Lasselle stood, angrily as he glared at Cliff.

"Now don't worry man…here…you put this on, while I go get the mistle toe…" Cliff said as he handed Lasselle some form of Cliff made tuxedo.

Lasselle took the suit reluctantly, as he stared at Cliff, who was exiting the room. Lasselle rolled his eyes…it was going to be a long day…

Meanwhile, Queen Romeria Zin Emurille, (Also known as Aquaria XXVII or pizza eater 6005) was sitting in her newly declared, bedroom. She was bored, as per usual, and was debating in her head of the possible things she could be doing right now…(1: Eating, 2: Sleeping, 3: Being a good Samaritan at Christmas time or 4: Harassing the innocent…)…and yes it was obvious of what she would do…she stand up the plate of joy, and be the best person she could be, she would stand high and mighty, her silhouette appearing on every heroic wall…while she gave Roger S. Huxley…a pre—wedgie!

"Please miss majesty…I don't know what I did to make you mad at me like this…but I promise I won't do it again your highnessness…" Roger cried as he dangled in mid air by his underpants.

"Prrrp, you and your stories raccoon boy…" Romeria laughed as brought Roger higher into the air. He yelped out in pain, complaining of underwear burn, before he was dropped onto the floor again, and his underwear was pulled completely over his sulking head.

Queen glared at the pathetic bundle at her feet. It was even more disgraceful, than that time that Farleen had a crush on Magistrate Lasselle…god only knew the age difference between them…and the poor magistrate never found out why he felt so threatened when he walked around the castle, or slept…he would never know that the purple haired complaining machine, stuck on high note 25, was stalking him.

Romeria became bored with the small Menodix's crying and screaming, and general panic stage. She was no sooner going on a stroll towards the bridge of the Diplo, to check out what was happening.

The Queen reached the bridge with a big entrance, complaining that 'this place stinks', before she came and towered over Maria like she was a little kid or something…

"Um…why are you here…? Shouldn't you been down in Elicoor or something…? Don't have a kingdom to rule…a magistrate to get married too…?" Maria spat as she rose from her seat and glared at the Queen. The Queen's eyes turned to tiny slits of hatred as she stared at Maria.

"Excuse me! You can't talk to me like that, _girlfriend_!" Romeria stated in a snobbish tone as she made snob related hand movements to go with it, "I'm like, the _queen_!"

The room fell silent as everyone gaped at the Queen, as if she had just declared Christmas canceled.

"Okay…I'll go now…" Romeria stated as she did a shifty gaze across the room of confused looking programmers. She coughed as she backed out the metallic door.

Once the door was closed, the confused looks still continued the Queens direction as she headed elsewhere, even though they technically couldn't see her.

It took about 10 minutes before everyone went back to what they had been doing beforehand.

And while this was happening, Vox was also having a somewhat 'adventure'…

"Wow! You really did that Mr. Roger's dad? Please…tell us another story sir!" Vox gasped as he leaned across the small coffee table and gazed, wide eyed at Aznor S.T Huxley.

"Certainly young man!" the Menodix stated as he smiled at a happy looking Vox, a bored and irritated looking Albel, a neutral faced Woltar.

"Can I go now…?" Albel sighed as he rolled his eyes.

"SILENCE! Can't you see the man's a hero telling his heroic stories of manliness!" Vox roared as spit flew all over the place, especially Albel, and the brown, polished coffee table.

Albel just growled while Vox ushered Aznor into another story.

"Well…this one happened a few years ago…I was walking along that road…ya know the one along the Aire Hills…? Yes, well there I was…then this large fellow, with sandy brown hair…and a beard…yes he had a beard too, well he comes jumping out, his robe…cape thing blowing in the wind…and he does this massive belch…and I swear…the smell was like poison, let alone the noise…it sounded like a bomb had gone off…then he just runs off like a lunatic…comes back after about 20 feet, then asked me I have change for 5 bucks…it was horrible…Scary Movie 5 even…" Aznor explained, a look of deep interest played across his face, while Albel slumped further into the couch, and Woltar shifted his gaze towards the door hopefully.

"Heheh…yeah…what a monster he was huh…?" Vox laughed nervously as his beady, evil like eyes darted around the room uncomfortably. Just at that moment, Forte G Huxley entered the room; she was carrying a tray containing a teapot, 4 teacups, a saucer, a metal cup containing sugar and a plate filled with cookies.

"Oooo!" Woltar squealed at the sight of the tea. Albel's bored eyes widened with horror as he leapt to his feet.

"NOOOOO!" Albel screamed as he dived for the small female Menodix. She screamed as he tackled her to the floor, the contents on the tray flying everywhere.

"NOOOOO!" Vox then screamed as he dived for the plate of cookies that was hurdling to the floor. He successfully caught them and began to eat them all, gorging himself like the fat pig he was.

"YES!" Woltar cheered as he held the teapot he had caught, high in the air. He then ran out the door, clutching the teapot for dear life, as he giggled like a school girl, who happened to be being asked out by the school heartthrob.

"COME BACK HERE OLD MAN!" Albel screamed as he climbed off the shocked looked Mrs. Huxley, who was covered in the milk and sugar from before. Albel ran out the door, and you could hear his angry screaming, while Woltar's maniacal laughing echoed around the Diplo's hallways.

The two of them ran past Fayt and Sophia who were happily talking in one of the hallways. They stopped dead in their words, when Woltar ran past with the teapot, giggling like a loon, Albel screaming and ranting as he pursued after him.

"What the hell was that…?" Fayt asked as the noise dispersed as the two grew further and further away.

"I don't know, Fayt…" Sophia replied while she looked off in the direction the two lunatics had just gone.

"What is it with old men and tea anyway…?" Fayt asked before the scene was switched back to Woltar and Albel running around the ship screaming.

"Put the tea down old man!" Albel screamed at his old fart of a friend.

"Make me, you fluffy haired, answering machine!" Woltar aggressively screamed back, as he hugged the full teapot to his old chest.

"WHAT! I don't even know what that means!" Albel screamed back as he frowned. And as the two of them ran around, they became quite hot, sweaty, and in the end smelly…yes…they even smelt as bad as Vox's socks (shows a quick film of the King forcing a trophy away from Vox and giving it to Albel and Woltar, while Vox moped in the background.)…

Another thing which happened was a large bomb like siren that sounded around the hallways, while Mirage's voice appeared on the loud speaker.

"Attention all passengers…this is a code red procedure…I repeat, this is a CODE RED, procedure. This is not a drill! An old man, aboard this ship, has received a full teapot from somewhere, someone, or something (Shows Forte laugh nervously while she glanced around the room, a nervous glint in her eyes)…" Mirage spoke while Albel and Woltar continued to run.

"Panic, I repeat, PANIC…no wait…I mean…DO NOT PANIC, we will be sending soldiers out with tranquilizers to deal with the problem immediately…" Mirage's voice disappeared and was replaced with some form of elevator music, the siren still in the background, as the hallways flashed a red colour.

"SLOW DOWN OLD MAN!" Albel yelled as soldiers began running around in all directions, tranquilizer guns in their hands.

"I GOT HIM!" a soldier suddenly screamed as he threw his hands up in the air, accidentally letting go of the gun, "Uh-oh…" the soldier said as the gun hit another guard, then rebounded and hit another…then another…then another…knocking them all unconscious as it bounded along.

Woltar swayed on the spot for a bit, while Albel watched in anticipation, for the old fart's next move.

"Hahahoohhrarhahahahaeh…eh…" were Woltar's last…um…_words_, before he went hurdling to the floor.

So there the old one lay, unconscious and with a tranquilizer thingy sticking out of his, in the air, backside. It was a lovely why to _die_ that…butt in the air, nose buried into the floor…he looked kind of like a slug imitation gone horridly wrong…

Albel made an irritated noise, as he exited the scene. The soldiers slowly dispersed, leaving Woltar, and the shattered teapot mess behind.

Vox then came round, doing shifty eye movements, as he slowly and cautiously edged his way towards Woltar, who was now snoring like Santa Clause himself.

"Yep…I think I see the problem here…" Vox said as he examined Woltar below him, "Come 'ere you…" Vox said as he heaved Woltar over his left shoulder, and headed away towards the horrid garbage ejection system.

"Seeya Wolty-pie! 'Member to get me present kay!" Vox said as he loaded Woltar's sleeping form into the system, he then closed off the shaft, and watched as Woltar was sucked into the Galaxy.

Though Vox didn't know that people couldn't breathe in space, it was okay anyway, because Woltar was somehow safe as he rocketed away. He soon smashed into another ship, indenting the metal, like the Christmas tree had done earlier.

He drifted out of his newly made dint, and went floating around the atmosphere.

(Meanwhile on the Sandal Churner)

"Um...Captain Peppita…" Dulcinea nervously said as she eyed the control panel below her.

"Yes…?" was Peppita's reply, as she looked over the heads of her ships controllers. She tried to make her appearance look more important like, as she sat stick straight in her chair and rested her hands casually on the arms of it.

"Um…well number one, someone just fired an old man at us…and number two, I think it was the Diplo…" Dulcinea said as she fiddled around with the panel in front of her.

"Okay…now its war…Ursus, Gonnella, Picolotto, come here now!" Peppita screamed, as the three men appeared around her.

"Yes Little Lady?" Ursus asked as he and the others bowed before Peppita, as if she was a Queen or something.

"I want you to fire back…manually…" Peppita hissed, her eyes turned to slits, at the 'manually' bit.

"Yes mam!" the three of them shouted as they saluted Peppita. Ursus and Gonnella then bent down and picked up Picolotto.

"Huh…what the…let go! PLEASE!" Picolotto screamed as he was carried out the door, and towards the Sandal Churner's rubbish eject system. He was later seen floating around outside with Woltar, occasionally bumping into him. Woltar was apparently still asleep as he aimlessly drifted around.

Meanwhile back on the Diplo…

"Hey…has anyone see Count Woltar…?" Cliff asked as he looked up from his magazine, looking at Fayt expectantly.

"No…" Fayt replied as he looked at Cliff.

"Okay…" Cliff said as he turned to look out the window, "Oh no…" Cliff said when he spotted Woltar floating around with some other old man.

"What is it Lummox head…?" Roger asked as Cliff advanced on the window, gaping out of it like an idiot.

"What the…is that Picolotto…?" Fayt asked as he too looked out the window. Roger came up and looked out the window too; he began to laugh as the two old men collided heads then floated slightly away from each other before they floated back to each other, colliding again, before they looped the past movements again.

"Hey…yeah it is actually…" Cliff replied as he watched the two men outside, Woltar had awoken and was now screaming, as he flailed around helplessly, before be fell asleep again for some reason.

"Huh…are they taking old man Woltar away…?" Roger asked as the Sandal Churner approached the old farts. They abducted Woltar onto their ship then began to reverse away, leaving Picolotto to screaming and cry at them, though it was not audible.

Fayt looked at the Sandal Churner and spotted Ursus and Gonnella laughing their heads off as they pointed at Picolotto.

"Oh, so they're gonna play the hostage game _huh_? Well I can play that game too!" Cliff yelled as he slammed a fist into his other palm.

Fayt sighed as Cliff disappeared out the door and towards the bridge. A green beam soon shot out of the Diplo and Roger and Fayt watched as it hit Picolotto, making him disappear from view.

His screams could be heard somewhere down the hall, and Fayt rolled his eyes, at the thought of Picolotto being on the Diplo now.

Cliff was however pleased with his work, and immediately set to work with tying Picolotto's limbs together with their pairs. And even though he would now have to put aside his pairing up business for now…he was pleased with his hostage work…

To Be Continued...?

* * *

**Woltar: Will Lasselle and Romeria ever be paired up...? Will Bijoux ever add in that love triangle that someone requested? And will Bijoux eva update this before Boxing Day! Find out next time on...  
Bijoux: Cram it geezer! (throws tub of cream at Woltar)...  
Woltar: You'll regret this! (runs away covered in cream mess)...  
Bijoux: (In unsual high pitched, and generally gay sounding voice tone) Please review...Corad...get away from my controler...I don't want to come back to find Fayt's name has been changed to Fart again...(insert awkward silence here)...and I don't wanna see Albel's name turned to Albelch...and don't even get me started on that time that you changed Maria's name to Mr. Page...or Nel to Belchy...or Cliff to Big Mac...mmmmm...big mac (drools all over keyboard)...  
Corad: Um...you did that to MY game...  
Bijoux: Prrrp! You and your stories Corad...you and your stories...  
**


	4. The Grinch that DeGravitated Christmas

**Bijoux: Yay, the final installment of my Christmas crud...thank the Heavens...um...anyways...yeah...it's hardely even Christmas for us in Australia anymore though so...yeah...I hope everyone else get's this before 25 to 11 at night...on Christmas...meh...either way...Thankyou to any and all reviews I have gotten for this fic...they were like the best Christmas present eva! Well...apart from maybe that Jak X game...but meh...I apreciate it all the same...**

**I don't own Star Ocean, the Grinch, Christmas...or that 'Something Wicked This Way Comes' song...meh either way...it's probaly a good thing that I only own my current crud...otherwise everything would be a mess...sorry for any and all character bashing, or any un-disclaimed stuff in here...  
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Chapter 4: The Grinch That De-Gravitated Christmas…**

"Cliff! Please! STOP THE SHIP!" Fayt screamed as he clung to the bridge's door frame for dear life.

"Oh no you don't Fayt! There's no way you're gonna make me give myself up to those morons!" Cliff screamed as he hunched further over a steering wheel which had appeared, shoved forcefully into the computer screen of the driver's seat.

"But Cliff! You're destroying Christmas! YOU'RE LIKE THE GRINCH, STAR WARS STYLE!" Fayt screamed as he tried to pull himself properly into the bridge.

But Cliff did not slow down…he would probably never slow…and it soon would be Fayt's turn, to go flying out the rubbish ejection system, like most of the others had previously gone through…

And to think…it all started with one innocent thing…

(Flash back of yesterday)

"Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve…how fun…" Albel hissed as he eyed everyone in the bridge.

"Yeah well…Cliff has seemed so prone and threatened after Woltar was taken hostage by Peppita…I haven't seen Picolotto in a while either…I think Cliff did something to him…I'm sorry guys, but we're gonna have to do it today and today only…" Maria sighed as she turned to look at everyone before her. It seemed that almost everyone who was initially on the ship was there…

"I'll go tell Cliff…" Fayt declared as he turned and exited the bridge, walking through the halls until he reached Cliff's room.

Fayt knocked on the door, being greeted with no reply, he banged on it forcefully instead.

"Hey cliff…you in there…?" Fayt called through the door. There was still no answer, "Well…if you are…we're gonna be doing our Christmas shopping soon okay…? Okay then…" Fayt yelled before he slowly walked away from the door and back to the bridge, a frown on his face as he did so.

And as Fayt walked away…he would never know…what Cliff was really doing……in that room…

"Now, you two will be together forever!" Cliff cackled as he duct taped Magistrate Lasselle to Queen Romeria. Both struggled against the tape, but they weren't strong enough to break free from its many layers. All they could do is lean as far away from each other as possible, while they were forced into each other's personal space.

"I bet you think you're out of the woods now don't you…?" Cliff giggled in an insane manner, it would appear that he'd gone completely mad, "But you're not! HAHAHAHAHAHAH! YOU'RE NOOOOOOOOT!" spit flew from the Klausion's mouth at these words.

Lasselle and Romeria exchanged glances of fear as Cliff cackled, his fingers bent as he raised his arms towards the ceiling, his head thrown back in crazed hysterics.

"And do you know why…?" Cliff asked as he leaned in, up close and personal to the two scared looking officials. Lasselle and Romeria both shook their heads in unison.

"(snort)…because…(double snort) _BECAUSE ALONG CAME MR. LASBARD_! RAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAHARRRRAHAHAHAH!" Cliff screamed as more spit flew out his mouth. Lasselle raised an eyebrow as Adray was forcefully pulled out the nearby closest. He was wearing the same kind of Cliff made tuxedo, that Lasselle was wearing, and was holding a bouquet of roses, which looked on the verge of death.

"Save me…" Adray whimpered as Cliff dragged him over to _Lassmeria_. Adray was soon being taped to the horrid mess which had become of Lasselle and Romeria.

"Now…I'm gonna go get some more people to couple up…and when I come back…you better be pregnant!" Cliff laughed as he shoved a finger into Lassalle's chest.

The door of Cliff's room soon slammed, and the only noise around, was the sound of the blonde's mad man cackles, echoing through the hallway, before they completely disappeared.

After that, they were left with an awkward silence. Occasionally some one would clear their throat, cough, or just start breathing too loudly, probably for a source of somewhat comfort, in the dark, silent, messy room.

"So ah…so who's gonna go first…?" Adray asked as Lasselle and Romeria looked at him as if he was an idiot.

Back out in the hallways, Cliff was walking around, paranoid marks under his eyes, and a large ear to ear grin on his tired looking face. It had been 5 days since Woltar had been taken away by Peppita. 5 days since Cliff had gone utterly mad. And 5 days since Lasselle and Romeria had been locked in his room, while Adray had been locked in Cliff's closest.

'Hehehehehehehehehe…they all think I've gone mad…but they're wrong…heheheheheehehehehheeheeeeehehehehe…they're so wrong it's funny!' Cliff laughed in his head as his eyes widened into an even more crazed look, 'They think I'm paranoid about everyone around me…think I can't handle the truth that they failed to conceal the truth that they're after me…oh…but don't worry man…coz I'm gonna get them so bad before they can kill me in my sleep…they'll regret the time that Fayt said I was paranoid that they were gonna kill me in my sleep…I'll prove them so wrong…by the end of the day they'll be eating their own underpants…'

Cliff stopped dead in his tracks at this thought. He began to laugh like a lunatic again as he clutched his sides and swayed around slightly.

"CHRISTMAS YOU WILL PREVAIL EASTER! BRAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Cliff screamed as he set off on a run through the Diplo. He barged through the door of the bridge screaming like a loony on drugs.

"Um…Cliff, are you okay…?" Mirage asked as she turned in her seat to look up at her friend.

Cliff just laughed like he did before, looking at Mirage in a way that made her shiver with discomfort.

"They're out to kill us…they've been following us for three days…I WANT MY DIGNITY BACK!" Cliff screamed as he ran over to Claire. He heaved her over his right shoulder and ran back out the room, while the poor girl kicked and screamed in his grasp.

"CLAIR!" Nel screamed as she flogged out the door after Cliff, who was still laughing like a mad scientist.

"NEL!" Fayt screamed as he ran after the red haired one, not wanting anyone on the ship to get into any grave danger, just because Cliff had become paranoid.

"CLIFF! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Fayt screamed when he spotted Cliff down the hallway ahead of him. Cliff slowly turned his head to look at Fayt, the mad glint still in his eye.

"I'm warning you Fayt…Don't come any closer…I'll do it! I'LL DO IT!" Cliff angrily screamed as he threateningly jabbed his finger towards the eject button of the rubbish system.

"Cliff please…" Nel sulked from the floor, where she had collapsed for some reason. But Cliff would not listen, and insane laughs could be heard, as Clair flew out of the Diplo, and went crashing into a tour ship behind it.

Clair rebounded off the slowly pursuing the Diplo, tour ship, and went floating around in space, waving her arms around and screaming as she stared at Fayt and Nel through one of the windows.

"CLAIR!" Nel once again screamed as she clambered to her feet and stared out the window helplessly at her best friend, "Claaaaaaiiiiir…" Nel groaned as she fell to the floor, her nails scraping the glass of the window as her knees fell to the floor.

"CLIFF! WHAT ARE YOU---" Fayt screamed as he turned to see no Cliff, "Cliff…oh no…oh NO!" Fayt screamed as he dived for the newly re-arrived Cliff, who now held a terrified and squirming Roger S Huxley.

"ARRRRGGHHHH! Fayt! Please help!" Roger begged as Cliff tried to force him into the clear tube. Roger managed to buy some time, as he put his legs out to the sides of the tube's entrance and pushed his back out, so that Cliff had to put all his effort into securing him to his doom.

Fayt wrapped his smallish arms around Cliff's waist, and tried to pull him away from the tube. He failed miserably, as he was not strong enough, and tried to make Nel help him.

"NEL PLEASE! HE'S GONE MAD! I NEED HELP HERE!" Fayt screamed as he stared at Nel. Nel did not come to help though and continued to sulk all over the floor, in the manner of that, you'd think she was going out with the grey haired women or something.

"Grrr…oh well…desperate times call for desperate measures…and I need someone stronger…oh…here goes nothing…VOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOX!" Fayt screamed at the top of his lungs, hoping that the larger man would soon come to his rescue, "Now…we…wait…" Fayt panted as Roger continued to restrain against Cliff.

Meanwhile, in one of the many, other, hallways of the Diplo, Vox was wondering around happily, smiling at his current scenario. He stopped in his tracks when he heard someone screaming his name somewhere.

"Huh…? Oh no…I must've done bad…I GOTTA HIDE!" Vox pout-fully stated as he fled away to hide somewhere.

Back with the Cliff problem, Roger was now floating out in space, clutching onto to Clair's waist as they both drifted around, with sorry for faces.

"Cliff…please no…" Fayt groaned as Nel was pushed into the tube of death, "NOOOOOO!" Fayt screamed at the sight of Nel now floating outside as she clung onto Clair's head.

"You're turn…" Cliff hissed as he lunged at Fayt. Fayt screamed as he jumped back, landing on his butt, before he kicked out at Cliff, scoring a direct hit to his angry looking face.

"CLIFF MAD!" Cliff roared as he tore his shirt off, turning a green colour, much like that of the incredible hulk's. Fayt once again screamed like a child, before he began to run away from Cliff.

"Albel! Please help me…PLEASE!" Fayt screamed as he ran through the hallways of the Diplo. But Albel would not come because…

"Huh…?" Fayt said as he stopped next to a window, as Albel drifted right past it, glaring at Fayt along the way past, "When did that happen…?" Fayt asked himself as he approached the window, to see the rest of the crew floating outside.

The only people missing from the floating mess of people outside was Lasselle, Romeria, Adray, Cliff, Duke Vox, and of course, Fayt himself.

"Oh no…" Fayt whimpered as he fell to his knees. Sophia floated past, and waved at Fayt happily, it was as if she was blissfully unaware of her current position in the galaxy.

Fayt waved back, forcing on a smile, before he ran to the bridge, to try and bring everyone back on board. He entered the room with a gasp though, when he realized that Cliff had taken control of the Diplo.

"CLIFF!" Fayt screamed with shock, as he eyed the steering wheel, which had obviously been forced into the computer panel below Cliff's standing, hunched form. Sparks and smoke was loitering around the computer in front of Cliff.

"Hehehehehe…you're too late Fayt…this ship is my Initial D car now…" Cliff sniggered as he turned his head slightly to look behind him at Fayt, before he made the Diplo go faster than what it was capable of…

And so that was how it had happened, and now they were being pursued by Santa Clause, how only wanted to do his job, and deliver the presents to the citizens of the Diplo, during the night before Christmas. But no…Cliff would not stop…he would really not do anything for anyone right now, and he really hadn't helped at all since the start of chapter 0 of this story…

"Ho, ho, ho, PULL OVER FATTY!" Santa screamed, for some strange reason he was audible out in space…

"Cliff you better listen to him…he won't give you…good…presents!" Fayt yelled as he fell to the floor, his legs not being capable of holding himself up during the speed spree.

"SHUT UP MAN! YOU'RE SCARING ME!" Cliff screamed, there was a tinge of fear in his tone as he ran over to Fayt, picking him up and heaving him over his shoulder, as he ran out the bridge and towards the dreaded rubbish system.

"AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!" Fayt screamed as he was sucked through the vacuum like tube, "Dah…" Fayt sighed as he went flying towards Santa and his sleigh, not really knowing why he could hear himself in the middle of an airless space…let alone why he could breathe…let's just say Bijoux is defying the law of physics, and had declared that there really is oxygen in space (shows John Howard going on private holiday to outer space, believing this bogus information to be true, only to suffocate, and over all _die_ on his way to the 'Levitating Jacuzzi'…)…

Fayt managed to grab the sleigh as he passed it and clung for dear life as they sped after the Diplo. Fayt looked back to see a long line of his friend's, all clinging to the sleigh or other's who were clinging to it instead, because there wasn't enough room for them to.

Fayt noted that there still was no Lasselle, Romeria, Vox or Adray…and obviously there was no Cliff out here.

"Okay…looks like someone's being a naughty boy this Christmas!" Santa hissed as he looked down at his digital wrist watch, realizing that it had been Christmas for a whole minute, "Rudolph! Laser beams!"

At Santa's command, a large red beam shot out of Rudolph's nose, and collided with the Diplo, making it shake slightly…now people I know you think that this wouldn't happen…but remember, this is the future…anything could happen…why, I could be Santa…(zooms out to show Bijoux dressed in Santa costume, beard and everything attached with the deal)…(Corad: Um…I don't think--) SHUT IT FATTY! Jjhfjhjcdbfeiikjf234n690wh (Corad: Um…) Oh right…sorry…(picks up beer gut and pulls it off the keyboard and puts it under the desk).

Moving on…Cliff was now speeding faster, trying to escape Santa Clause. He was, however, becoming distracted, as he could hear the singing of a quire boy somewhere elsewhere on the ship…it sounded like that 'something wicked this way comes' song…his first thought was that it was Lasselle…but he then decided that he wouldn't sink that low…Adray? No…he was much too stupid to sing this well…maybe Romeria…but she was female…not a little boy…that could only leave on other person…Cliff's conscience…

"DIE OLD MAN!" Cliff screamed as he punched himself in the head, the music didn't, however stop…he soon discovered himself, running out the door, putting the Diplo on auto pilot, as he went to find out the source of this noise.

And it was soon found…curled up in a little ball…singing quire songs like a little boy…no…it wasn't Roger…he was dead (Roger: HEY! AM NOT!)…no this was worse…much worse…

"You'll regret this oath!" Vox sang as he forcefully blew out the Diplo, like so many others before him.

"Finally…glad I got that off my chest…" Cliff sighed as he ran back to the bridge to control the ship again. Cliff soon entered the bridge and had just looked up, when he almost had a heart attack.

"WHAT THE!" Cliff screamed at the mere image of Vox's back, right up against the wind screen of the Diplo, "What are you doing old man!" Cliff yelled loud enough to get Vox's attention, Vox turned around, a surprised look on his face as he stopped moving his legs and arms in and out from his body.

Vox breathed on the window, making it fog up, before he wrote, 'snow angle' on the wind screen, though it was backwards in Cliff's view.

"Okay…" Cliff said as he raised an eyebrow at Vox, who smiled back, "So…can I join…?" Cliff asked. Vox nodded, giving thumbs up.

"ALRIGHT!" Cliff happily roared as he ran out the bridge and later appeared on the windscreen too, flailing about aimlessly, occasionally glancing over his shoulder to look at the creation which he thought was going somewhere…when it clearly wasn't…

Lasselle, Romeria and Adray soon came running into the bridge. They had broken out of the restraints, when Adray had realized that he was missing Christmas.

"Lasselle…you will fix this…" Romeria calmly stated as she gazed at her Magistrate with a bored expression.

"But…" Lasselle began but was cut short by Romeria.

"Now Lasselle…" Romeria hissed as she partially glared at Lasselle.

Now, seeing as though Lasselle is so scared of defying _her majesty_, he did his best at making the ship stop. He failed miserably, thus angering Adray, when he only managed to succeed in making the situation a whole lot worse.

"Can't you do anything right, Magistrate ass!" Adray boomed as he slammed his fist into one of the control panels, Lasselle glared at Adray, as the lights began to flicker slightly…what Adray had done wasn't good…or was it…?

"Huh…?" Lasselle muttered as he looked up at the ceiling with a puzzled expression, Adray too looked confused as the ship came to a abrupt stop. A loud thump could be heard at the other end of the Diplo, and Lasselle and Adray ran to the source of the previous sound immediately.

"Uh-oh…" Adray and Lasselle both said in unison at the sight of a 3D outline a reindeers head, and front legs in the metal. The reindeer form made growling like sounds, as it tried to bite down through the metal.

Lasselle and Adray jumped back slightly with fear, it was scary…but what happened next was even scarier, when a red laser beam came shooting though the wall, creating a large hole.

The two men screamed as they leapt out the way of a whole sleigh with people attached at the end, who were being scraped along the metallic floor as the rampaging version of Santa went past.

"CLIFF! YOU WILL PAY!" Santa's roars were heard as the sleigh disappeared from view. Lasselle and Adray looked at each other before they ran after the sleigh, spotting a path of destruction along the corridors of the ship, mostly made up of injured looking people sprawled down the different hallways Santa had passed through.

"Santa noo…" Fayt panted as he climbed to his feet, just as Lasselle and Adray were passing through the corridor he was half dead in. Fayt ran after the destruction that soon led to the bridge of the Diplo.

"Huh…?" Fayt asked himself as he spotted 3 forms, making an attempt of snow angles on the wind screen of the ship.

"Heh, nice one Vox!" Santa cheered as he looked to his left to see Vox, trying to grind himself further into the tough, cold glass.

"You too Nick!" Vox said as he gave thumbs up to Santa Clause, Santa smiled back as he gave thumbs up to Vox, then to Cliff, who gave it back.

"Okay…finally…I can faint…" Fayt sighed as he collapsed on the floor.

"Master Fayt…? Are you feeling okay…? Are you sleeping…?" Adray's voice drifted around Fayt's sore head, as he drifted into dark abyss.

"No you idiot…he's fainted…" Lassalle's voice then floated into his head, just as he lost all known consciousness.

About 4 hours later, Fayt had awoken to the sound of Adray's voice.

"But…he's just sleeping…"

"Yes…but he fainted…" Lasselle hissed back.

"So he's dead…?"

"No you idiot, he's…oh forget…10 tries used to be my lucky number…but not now…now it must be 100…" Lassalle's voice angrily stated before Fayt heard the sound of a door opening then closing.

Fayt groaned as he stirred into consciousness once again.

"Master Fayt…are you awakening…? You fainted…Lasselle was so worried…he thought you'd died…the idiot…" Fayt almost screamed at the sight of Adray's face right next to his, the minute he'd woken up.

Adray saw the look of terror in Fayt's eyes, so he decided to back off, and let the blue haired one sit up.

Fayt yawned as he climbed out of bed. He smiled up at Adray as he rose to his feet.

"Yeah I'm fine Adray…" Fayt stated as he walked towards the door out of the sick bay. Adray followed Fayt into the area in front of the bridge, where everyone was happily talking and opening presents that Santa had bought them.

"Hey Fayt!" Sophia cheered; she was clutching what appeared to be a teddy bear…nobody knew when the girl would actually grow out of these things.

"Hi Sophia…" Fayt waved as he sat down on the seat next to Sophia. Sophia waved back, a smile oh her face as Albel slowly approached them.

"This is for you…fool…" Albel spat as he handed Fayt a present from Santa.

"Thanks Albel…" Fayt smiled as he took the present from Albel, and watched as he slumped away, muttering perturbed things under his breathe.

Fayt opened the present and found a deflated basket ball.

"Alright! I've missed these things so bad…" Fayt gasped as he got up to go get something to inflate the ball with.

Fayt soon reappeared with the ball completely pumped up.

"Hey Fayty-boy! Throw it over here!" Adray called over to Fayt.

"Okay!" Fayt nodded as he threw the ball towards Adray. Adray missed catching the large spherical object, and it hit his chest, rebounding on his abs, before it flew across the room and hit Roger on the head, the spike on his helmet deflating the ball permanently…

"Ooops…" Adray mumbled as he stared at the 'ball' on Roger's head, though the Menodix didn't seem to notice that it was even there…

Fayt sighed sadly, before he slumped back over to Sophia, collapsing next to her with another sigh.

"Oh…I'm sorry about that Fayt…but at least we're all here together…I mean it's not like anyone were care about is out there in space still, floating around helplessly…right?" Sophia stated happily as she looked across at Fayt.

(Shows back where the Diplo was, numerous hours ago…)

"Hello…anyone…? I'm cold and scared…I'm hungry…hello!" Nel called out into the nothingness around her…

(Back on the Diplo)

"Yeah, I guess you're right Sophia…" Fayt smiled as he looked at his friend happily.

"Have I ever been wrong…?" Sophia asked in a mocking tone.

"No…" Fayt slightly laughed as he shook his head.

"And I never will be…" Sophia stated as he tried to look a whole lot more important than what she really was deep down inside.

Cliff had calmed down by now, and Santa was advancing on him with a jagged looking present, a stern look was on the bearded man's face.

"Now Cliff…you know you've been a naughty boy…don't you…" Santa said sternly, while Cliff nodded his head with part shame, "And you will be receiving coal…however…seeing as though you have managed to 'bribe' me once again…I have decided to make you a doll out of this coal…" Santa stated as he handed the present to Cliff. Cliff tore the wrapping away and discovered a Mr. T look alike in the paper, though it was all charcoaled black…

"Aww, thanks Santee!" Cliff happily said as he wrapped his arms around the flabby man in red.

And as it looked, upon the Diplo ship…this year had been quite a horror at Christmas time for our heroes…and bad guys…and old men who generally wouldn't go away…but in the end…I guess everyone had I happy Christmas…

(Sandal Churner)

"Aww! What kind of cheap present is this!" Peppita screamed as she threw a lump of coal to the ground, the coal hit the ground and chunks flew off it as it rolled across the floor.

"Prrrp…and **_she_** thinks **_she_** got a bad present…" Gonnella spat from a hallway just before the bridge of the Sandal Churner. Ursus looked at his clownish friend as he (Gonnella) held Picolotto high in the air by the back of his shirt…

**The End…?

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**Bijoux: So what ever did happen to Woltar...? (shows him on some alian filled planet, being surrounded by creatures who look like they wanna be his enemy)  
Vox: I don't know and I don't care...society became tiresome and old with that guy around...  
Bijoux: Wow Vox...that was beautiful...(wipes tear out of eye)...  
Vox: Really...? I was just reading it off this candy bar wrapper...  
Bijoux:...(crikets in background)...okay...please review...merry Christmas to you all as well...apart from you Vox...you're just strange...  
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